Ladies and gentlemen, to celebrate the shiny new relaunch of our beloved MC5, a fabulous party has been held! But sadly during the revelry that notorious creature the ostrich has been loosed... Form into teams to attempt to catch the ostrich first, with bonus points for style.
Cornflower blue
Well, I'll start our hunt in an alley near Goodge Street. Thought I heard a rattling of bin lids...
Red
I saw feathers at Tottenham Court Road, but it was gay night at the Astoria.
darkseagreen
Well I think it is best not to rush into these things so time for a swift one or two, just round the corner from Kilburn before moving off.
Hampster (controversial)
Hmmm, that rather plump lady standing outside Covent Garden has very thin legs......
Cornflower blue
Should there be a limit to the number of teams? Maybe while you're thinking about that I'll establish team base at Goodge Street and move on to an advantageous position atop London Bridge.
Extraordinarily dark white
Either that's an ostrich with its head in the ground at Latimer Road, or three supermodels are all sharing the same afro wig.
darkseagreen
Carry on, carry on stomping I'll scrunt around Green Park while checking out the loacl hospitality to kill two birds at the same time so to speak. *Burp* oops pardon me.
Cornflower blue
Purchasing an ACME Ostrich Finder is usually against the rules... but happening to find one at, say Chalfont and Latimer, that'd just be lucky I guess. Oh looky here...
Extraordinarily dark white
It's eerily quiet here at Bethnal Green. Too quiet.
Don't know - I've not been invited
Last night I trawled Kings Cross but found few birds, though there was a fair number of transvestites. I have now returned to see if my night glasses will help ... hang on a bit there's something ahead of me with its head stuck in the sand ... could it be? might it be? ... Damn, it's just my local M.P.
Cornflower blue
CHarging up the ACME Ostrich Finder at the terminus at Euston Road, and looking very very threatening.
darkseagreen
All very quiet at Amersham, looks like the trail has gone cold.
Extraordinarily dark white
I've found some droppings at Acton Town. I'm beginning to regret not bringing gloves.
As no-one has joined my team, I am throwing in my lot with the Red team and will make my way to Archway, where I expect to pick up a distinct whiff.
fuchsia
*Completely fails to find anything poking around the Seattle Monorail Station*
Hmm... not even a monorail...
Cornflower blue
Ah, so the ostrich might be abroad? That might be why I can't seem to get the AOF working, needs its co-ordinates adjusted... I could use an assistant really.
Cornflower blue
*cough* Hatton Cross
Extraordinarily dark white
Ostrich noises at Kentish Town! I blame 24-hour drinking.
red
I went to Osterley and looked in a fire bucket, all I found was a head in the sand.
Black
Time to kill this one?
Cornflower blue
firing up ACME Ostrich Finder* Yes, boss... It says the blighter's at Mornington Crescent. And, by Jove, he is!
Cornflower blue
Hmm. Wasn't the "*" I missed off the start, was it?
Hmmm
Don't think so - let's try it again. Mornington Crescent
*shouts, screams generally goes wild for rabTuj*
Ahhh
That shouldn't happen again - the bug that stopped Tuj from winning has now been fixed.
Oi, slap to the forehead. I mean, considering where things usually up around here I feel a bit silly for not checking there very first thing...
This is the end of the line. There is no more.