Time to reach into your grab bag of 70s nostalgia with a fab new concept in MC. Get from Fingerbobs to Slade without passing blaxploitation or The Winter of Discontent. Punk Scores double but has nothing to do with the Mystery winning move.
Sponsored by Pearl and Dean.
I Say, Porter! - Enduring memories of Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky also known as The Banana Splits although the site says "originally broadcast 1968-1969" - not where I grew up it wasn't.
I Say, Porter! - And if the lips move when no sound is coming out, and vice versa, it must be Monkey.
Uncle Korky - Or The Water Margin!
I Say, Porter! - I see your Water Margin and raise you a Flashing Blade
I Say, Porter! - Cannon, Kojak, Charlies Angels, Chips, and dare I say it, Starsky and Hutch?
Uncle Korky - Richard O'Sullivan in ITV's Dick Turpin on Saturday evenings (when it didn't clash with Doctor Who of course!).
penelope - Who the hell was it in Man About The House and Robin's Nest, apart from Paula Wossername and Sally Thingummy, the toothy one out of The Railway Children??
rab - That was Richard O'Sullivan, was it not?
penelope - [rab] Yup, I think you're right. I'll nominate poor old Yootha Joyce in George and Mildred instead.
Martha Farquar - Cliff Michelmore, Richard Whitmore, Michael Aspel, Richard Baker et al doing There Is Nothing You Can Name, that is anything like a Dame...
Uncle Korky - Nationwide with Michael Barratt!
I Say, Porter! - Aha! those Barratt Homes adverts with the guy with the big chopper.
I Say, Porter! - I refuse to make any more TV references, go to TV Cream instead and relive those childhood telly moments.
I Say, Porter! - OK maybe On the Moov aids to literasy.
Minnie Riperton - La la la la la,
La la la la la,
La la la la la, la la la la la,
Do do do do-dooo, Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I Say, Porter! - Give us a clue No, that's not a 70s telly reference, I really WOULD like to know what that la la etc. is about :-D
Martha Farquar - Sounds like "Lovin' You", as memorably performed by Linda Smith in Pick Up Song. (emphasis on "memorably" :)
Bob the dog - This'll bring back a few memories. Mind, you, the Belle and Sebastian theme isn't the one I'd expected (Lonley solo boy sings whistfully... )
Martha Farquar - Horribly Ugly Sports Jacket. With leather patches.
penelope - Incredibly long and colourfully hooped socks with individual toes
I Say, Porter! - 70's nostalgia, is it, how about Manchester United getting relegated to the Second Division
Martha Farquar - There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home
penelope - Screen Test with Michael Rod, who I always found was indistinguishable from John Craven...
Saskia - Phew - What a Scorcha! The Summer of '76 drought.
Martha Farquar - Yes, what a good time for a Bicentennial Dollar
Martha Farquar - No, scratch that. I'll go for Nostalgia for the Fifties (Happy Days, American Graffiti, Last Picture Show...)
Saskia - [MF] Do you include Showaddywaddy and Shakin' Stephens in that?
penelope - Eating hotdogs outside the the back of Pebble Mill studios in Birmingham during the outside recording of Showaddywaddy's and Paul Nicholas's set... Grandma's Party? Ahhhh, I remember it well!!
Saskia - [Pen] In Brum in the 70's! Snap. I never made it onto Tizwas but me best mate Jo did...
Martha Farquar - I thought Shaky was later than that. But I certainly included The cast of Grease, with a special appearance by Richard Gere
Wol - [ISP] And while we're at it, York City beating Manchester United while in the Second Division.
Puckoon - The Railway Children the film directed by Lionel Jeffries with Jenny Agutter as Bobbie, and Bernard Cribbins as Perks, Filmed on the Keighley and Worth Valley Railway.
Mike - Would anyone with knowledge of the rules and origins of Mornington Crescent like to contribute to this site? All contributions welcome. Mornington Crescent Rules.
penelope - [Mike] What a throwback! I remember people asking about the little-known rulesets to the great game back in the seventies when I was a nipper in hotpants, before the great archive was discovered by Mrs Trellis in 1977, the year of the Silver Jubilee. What triumph that was. First Hillary conquered Everest on the eve of the Coronation, then Mrs Trellis found the long-lost handbook on the the eve of the Silver Jubilee. Its as if the game has a Royal mandate. We should be honoured to be playing. ;o)
Puckoon - Oliver Postgate whistling all the way to the bank with The Clangers (where Major Clanger was heard to swear at least once "The bloody doors have stuck"
penelope - *struts and primps afro* wocka-chocka-wocka-chocka-chocka-wocka-wocka... the sound of soaring strings.... and then the coloured girls sing "Shaft".
Audience - *shouts, screams, generally goes wild for penelope*
Bob the dog - Waves tartan scarf in the air then goes home use strimmer on sideburns.
Dunx - A belated shout out for Space Dust... which I think got taken off the market because it contained carcinogens or something equally charming. Ah, the joys of being ten and not caring about such things...
Neil - ...has anyone mentioned 'Armchair Thriller'yet?
Bob the dog -
The bravest animals in the land are Captain Beaky and his band
That's Timid Toad, Reckless Rat, Artful Owl and Batty Bat
They march through the woodlands singing songs
That tell how they have righted wrongs

Once Hissing Sid, an evil snake, kept the woodland folk awake
In fear and trembling every night
In case he gave someone a bite
Said Artful Owl, 'We'll lie in wait
And one of us will be the bait."
Said Captain Beaky, "Have no fear! For I alone will volunteer!"

"No, make it me!" Said Reckless Rat
I'll stand there in my reckless hat
When Hissing Sid picks up my trail,
I'll just lasso him with my tail!"

"Oh, good idea" said Timid Toad, "We'll hide a long way down the road.
And when you've overcome resistance,
We'll rush along to your assistance."

Said Batty Bat, "I've got a wheeze!
I'll fly and hide up in the trees!
If Hissing Sid should slither by
I'll drop a boulder from the sky!"

Said Artful Owl, "The idea sound…how will you lift it off the ground?"
Poor Batty Bat just scratched his head,
"I hadn't thought of that," he said.

Said Owl, "The rest of us hold back. There's only one that he'll attack."
Said Timid Toad, "I like your plan."
"Good luck," said Owl, "For you're the man!"

So Timid Toad, his eyes a-popping,
Into the woodland night went hopping
Captain Beaky waved his hand, followed by his trusty band
That's Artful Owl and Reckless Rat, and above the trees flew Batty Bat.

"Stop!" Said Beaky, "I hear squeaking!"
"It's Batty Bat" said Owl, "He's speaking!"
"It's all in code," said Reckless Rat
Said Owl, "I'll just decipher that."

"A dash, a dot, two short, two long…
I rather think we've got it wrong.
It reads 'can clearly see the road,
Hissing Sid has captured Toad!'"

"Quick men!" said Beaky, "No delay!
"You mustn't let him get away!"
And leaping off, said "Follow me!"
And ran head first into a tree.

"Dot dot dot" squeaked Batty Bat.
Said Beaky, "Quick! Decipher that!"
Said Reckless Rat, "Perhaps we're gaining?"
"No," said Owl. "He says…it's raining"

Oh, how they ran to save poor Toad,
For they must find that snake's abode
Guided by old Batty Bat
Dot dot go this way dash, go that!

Then Hissing Sid's lair they spied
Were they too late? Was he inside?
Said Reckless Rat, "I'll get a pole
And stop him going down his hole!"

Then into sight the snake came hopping,
Right past his hole, no sign of stopping
Said Reckless Rat, "That's rather funny,
"There's something jumping in his tummy."

Said Captain Beaky, "Well I'm blowed!
Hissing Sid has swallowed Toad!"
And as the snake hopped out of sight,
Off they chased into the night.

At last they found him, tired and dizzy
And pulled out Toad, who said "Where is he?
For left alone, I felt quite sick,
And hopped into a hollow stick

Said Owl, "A clever step to take!
You jumped into that slippery snake."
"That was brave of Toad", said Rat
"That's just my sort of plan!" said Bat

Said Captain Beaky to his men,
"Well we'll not see Hissing Sid again!"
And as they marched off down the road,
They sang in praise of Timid Toad

Above them flew ol' Batty Bat,
With his wings stretched out, like that
Owl's idea, the clever fella
To have a flying um-ber-ella
This is the end of the line. There is no more.