Celebrities are everywhere, but not all press is good press - you wouldn't want Anthea Turner at your housewarming, would you? How would you instruct her PR to stop her from appearing at your door with a bottle of Blue Nun? Rhyming, alliterative and cunning punning ways to stop celebrities turning up at your do, please.
Winning Move is Cancel Mansell.
Expose more Expose all
Phil - Take That? Take that!
Rosie - Nicholas Parsons - a deviation too far.
Software - Eamon Andrews - not on your life.
Rosie - Alexander Graham Bell - Don't ring us, we'll ring you.
gil - Bruce Forsyth - Bad to see you... To see you, bad.
Sierra Mike - Monica Lewenski - You Suck!
Rosie - Steve Davis - No, not by a long chalk. (SM) V. good!
Phil - Graham Taylor - do I not like you!
Sierra Mike - Heinz Guderian - make tracks!
Sierra Mike - Looks like I killed the game, so Sierra Mike - take a hike
Phil - Getting personal :-) Rosie - don't be dozey!
Rosie - (Calling up the Instant Rebuttal Unit) Phil - I've had my fill.
Software - Peter Snow - go!
Kim - Hughie Green? Don't bother knocking (and I mean that most sincerely folks, I really do).
Robin - David Frost - Hello, good evening and you're not welcome.
Juxtapose - Take off, Hasselhoff representin' for the States
Kim - The Likely Lads? Not likely.
Rosie - John Cleese - Oh, please! What a cantankerous old fart he's turned into, sadly.
Botherer - Jim Bowen? Here's your BFH.
Juxtapose - See ya Aaliyah.
Botherer - Bye bye, McFly.
Knobbly - Greg Dyke? On yer bike!
Knobbly - The artist formerly known as Prince... How are you spelling that?
Kim - [Apologies to Sierra Mike] Monica Lewinsky? Close, but no cigar.
Sierra Mike - The Wright Brothers? Buzz off!
Botherer - Serena Williams? New balls, please...
Rosie - Tony Blair - Hey, y'know, let me say this, like, piss off, vicar.
Software - [Botherer] surely you mean Renee Richards?
Botherer - [Softers] That one somehow passed under my gaydar...

Sorry sorry sorry...

Bill Bryson? Nice try, son.
Chalky - Janet Street-Porter? I don't think you oughta.
Kim - Whitney Houston? We have a problem.
Kim - Ooops, sorry, too bold.
Sierra Mike - Kim, be dim - sorry, couldn't stop myself there
StormWraith - Armando Ianucci - Too whiny, too pushy.
Sierra Mike - Willie Rushton - a dead loss (I wish he hadn't rushed off)
Juxtapose - Willie Nelson, get back on the road again.
penelope - And before he gets too far down the road, can someone cancel Mansell?
Audience - *shouts, screams generally goes wild for penelope*
penelope - I just want a quiet night in!
Kim - Terry Waite? Too late!
KagomeShuko - Amy Winehouse? No wine in this house!
This is the end of the line. There is no more.