As played in the Furcation Game (plug). Could the panel please suggest uses for a Black and Decker Workmate?
And so it begins...
snorgle - How about a handy trousy press, if your Corby should get damaged?
penelope -
This will be number 2. An Emergency Picnic Table
Tuj -
2b. Inspiration for a bizarre web-vased game.
Knobbly -
3. Stand the web-vase on it. Use a doily to prevent water stains.
(Is it impolite of a newcomer to take advantaged of slips-of-the-finger?) Botherer -
4. Use as a weapon to hit impolite newcomers. ;-)
As a newbie myself, I am currently hitting myself with my Workmate. snorgle -
5.Drop on the head of unsuspecting coyotes in place of an anvil.
nights -
6. subject for an essay on whether the trappings of modernity can be considered a 'mate' of mankind, or a hinderance dragging us into the vortex of non-existence.
Snodgrass -
7. Useful device for holding down a loose floorboard in the shed for a long period of time.
Uncle Korky -
8. With only one pair of opposite-corner legs fully extended, sit a small child atop it, and - hey presto - a post-industrial rocking horse!
Boolbar -
9. Put several in a row on their sides and add black and white paint to create large barcodes for large barcode readers.
penelope -
10. By painting it green and secreting it in long grass in the 'open' position, and being close at hand to wind the handle at very short notice, it would make an excellent legtrap for giraffes or other long-legged ungulates.
Raak -
11. An instrument of torture. Details left to the imagination.
snorgle -
12. An instrument of interrogation. Should anyone refuse to tell you how best to use it to torture people, threaten them with it until they do. If you don't know
how to use it to threaten them, it doesn't matter. They do.
Darren -
13. A lucky charm. It can be for good luck or bad, it's your choice. It's your workmate, after all!
Robin -
14. A handy place to store 10,000 Celerity CDs.
Tuj -
16. Yes, 16, count them The best way to burst many balloons at once, as done by the BBC sound efefcts department.
Dujon -
17 - A great seat for one or more when watching cricket at the local village green.
Falstaff -
18 - It would make a handy interrogating instrument for the wife to grill me on where exactly I've been until 3:00 am. Tuj -
19. Instrument for pinching out a long line of candles.
Dujon] Excellent suggestion, and you ignored my "efefcts" too! Much kudos. Darren -
20. A spelling dictionary for the words "Black," "Decker," and "Workmate."
penelope -
21 A handy vice grip to ensnare Tuj by a suitable protruding bodypart (TBC) until he understands that it was his unusual choice of following my conventional
'2' counting mechanism with
'2b' at the top of this game that threw several players out of synch with true order, and that being all cutesy about having his 'efefcts' typo ignored will not constitute any valid defence against said bodypart (TBC) being squished with a Black and Decker Workmate until he weeps.
Botherer -
21 b A handy V-Day present a week after V-Day. She'll love it and forgive you...
Tuj -
21 c Device for raising and lowering encasted or enslinged bodyparts (TBC) when in hospital.
Tuj -
21 d ... or, if adjusted at high speed, excellent for flicking wellwishers' grapes into your invalid mouth.
Raak -
25 Cut a suitable set of semicircular holes in the jaws and use it as a pair of stocks.
penelope -
26 When in the lowered position, as a prayer kneeler (for instance when begging 'Lord, pleeeease give me
strength and forebearance when dealing with these
idiots')
Uncle Korky -
27. Lower legs at one end. Attach elastic band to handles at other end. You now have a launch ramp with which to propel Matchbox cars into the ether.
Darren -
28. A clamp to help one keep a stiff upper lip.
Botherer -
29. If one were to attach a series of rod-mounted beads, it could form a basic abacus.
rab -
30. With one end tilted lower than the other, an extremely short but rather portable dry-ski slope Boolbar -
31. Partly opened, it can be used as a tribute to Robert Recorde.
Tuj -
32. Impromptu stumps for an impromptu game of cricket. Other suggested items: ball made of sellotape, 3/4 full bottle of water, players.
Raak -
33. An accomplice in providing excuses for acquiring power tools.
Darren -
34. An artificial woman, for the
extremely lonely.
rab -
35. Portable crazy-golf kit.
Falstaff -
36. As a more reliable,
[less prone to human error], means of circumcision.
st dogmael -
37. Obtain several, turn some of them upside down and enter them in the Turner Prize.
Boolbar -
38. Just cooked a pasta meal and embarrassed by the length of your spaghetti? Simply attach the spaghetti to your workmate and turn the handle to increase to the desired length!
Tuj -
39. An inyeresting sidetable for displaying any Oscars you might happen to win.
Wow, Tuj goes topical! Bob the dog -
40. A fully washable table for use as an aid to natural childbirth.
CdM -
42. Need to saw a piece of wood? First, ask a friend to hold the wood with one hand. Then clamp his other hand in the workmate so that he can't run away.
Tuj -
43. Keeping one's mouth shut to stop guffawing like an idiot at the previous suggestion.
penelope -
44. Submerge in a very large vase of water to provide an adjustible support for flower arrangements.
Dujon -
45 A great jar opener and should grace every kitchen in the land.
Boolbar -
46 A gum shield for hippopotamuses.
plump -
47 A device to remove excess skin from your shins, best done in a darkened shed whilst looking for the white spirit.
Robin -
48. Making a large Waldorf salad? Why crack those walnuts one at a time? Use the Workmate and do them all at once!
rab -
50 Diversionary tactic.
Following on from ph21rw's sublime offerering Wol -
51 A fully adjustable xylophone stand. Also takes marimbas.
Tuj -
52. Adjustable modern art plinth.
st dogmael -
53. Use it as a handy aid in your carpentry hobby.
penelope -
54. A dual purpose operating table for small operations on small people.
Tuj - To pinch one from my good friend Marmaduke:
55. a terrible opponent in a football match.
Falstaff -
56. I plan to rip it from its moorings, hoist it high over my head and smash it thru a large plate glass window in a daring and spectacular escape from MC5.
penelope - [Falstaff] That reminds me.
57. The collapsing prop for an impromptu comedy routine; for the finale i will drop it on my foot.
Tuj -
58. Holding open an angry lion's mouth to avoid being mauled.
Boolbar -
59. A cow branding iron for poorly sighted farmers.
plump -
60 A limb replacement
ZK -
61A Black & Decker Workmate tidy. Takes about 4.
ZK - -
62 A cheap alternative to visiting the dentist.
ZK - -
63. A seat for a high court judge.
ZK - -
64. Squeeze out those last drops of toothpaste! An economy-saving model!
penelope -
65. My submission for the Turner Prize.
Boolbar -
66. Combined with a clockwork monkey and a CD player playing fairground music, you too can pretend to be an organ grinder.
This came to me while winding the handle on my own B&DWM. Raak -
68. A prop for the next Doctor Who adventure: Revenge of the Trees. All the wood in the world turns on mankind in revenge for the brutal murder of trees to make furniture!
Kim -
69. An adjustable birthing-stool.
Bob the dog - [Kim] See No. 40.
69Contemporary stocks for naughty children.
Tuj -
70. Striking one's forehead in realisation.
Just spotted I put "web-vased" in move 2... wondered what move 3 was about for a long time... Juxtapose -
71. Subject for a list of uses of it Juxtapose -
72. Use it to cut off your bold tag a little earlier...
* * * -
[Falstaff really!] "i shall own up." Juxtapose -
76.line twenty up and jump them on a motorcycle.
Dujon -
77. Scatter a number around the garden (mix the sizes: there are 'home', 'industrial' and 'Stevie' models available) to create a wonderful arty display for your next candlelight supper.
plump -
78 As a suicide parachute.
Tuj -
79. Parallel bars for a new event at Crufts.
Juxtapose -
80. And then for standing on at the subsequent award ceremony.
Falstaff -
81. To replace the falling anvil in old Tex Avery cartoons.
Bif -
82 Novelty Key Fob.
Boolbar -
84. Hamster activity centre.
ImNotJohn -
85. Use 2 to replace a Corby Trouser press (one for each crease)
Juxtapose -
86. Tie a note to it and throw it through a window if a brick's not handy
penelope -
87. Nutcrackers
88. Inverted, and with the addition of a strong rubber band, a handy catapult for flinging stones from the back door at neighbours' cats in the process of defecating on your newly-prepared flowerbeds.
89.Clothes horse for working clothes.
Tuj -
90. Blockade for stopping an angry mob smashing in your workshop door. Useful if you're Dr. Frankenstein, for instance.
Juxtapose -
91. Clothes horse for working horse.
Tuj -
92. Blunt instrument.
93. Exhibit A.
Boolbar -
94. Attached to a rope it could make a novelty swingometer for Peter Snow.
Falstaff -
94 b [Attached to a rope] it could be shoved from the bed of a moving truck
to pull
[i.e. yank i.e. extricate] my wisdom tooth.
Falstaff -
94 c [Attached to a rope] it would make a splendid wrecking ball.
Falstaff -
94 c [Attached to a rope] a swinging pendant for hypnotizing a Cyclops.
Falstaff -
94 e [Attached to a rope] Goliaths' slingshot for
[Round 2] against David.
Falstaff -
94 f [Attached to a rope] Prison Soap!
Falstaff -
94 g [Attached to a rope] As a counterweight for use in hanging myself by the neck from a pulley in the closing act of Shakespeares 'King Henry IV'
Unfortunately our good William took that page of the script into the privy with him and the entire scene was marked over, thus depriving the play of a meritorious conclusion. penelope -
I reckon all of Falstaff's contributions can be counted individually, therefore 101 British interpretation of a Japanese-style wooden pillow.
Audience -
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for penelope* rab -
*fashions guitar out of B&D workmate, strums E minor chord* Audience -
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for rab* Chalky -
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild* Kim -
*shouts and generally goes wild, but doesn't scream* WomBat21 - Community Theatre prop for re-creating the final scene in the original version of the movie 'The Fly'.
WomBat21 - Placed next to the coffe table in a darkened room, will help to totally disable you from the waist on down.
This is the end of the line. There is no more.
