The Pants Game Does Dallas

Many are called, but few are pants. Winning pants are, of course, unchanged.

And so it begins...

• matt - For sweetest things turn foulest by their deeds:
  Pants that fester smell much worse than weeds.
• Simons Mith - Jeeves: Yes, ma'am. Our English pants are severe.
• snorgle - Milton:The serpent, subtlest beast of all the pants.
• Blob - Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of Pants
• Simons Mith - Show me the way to go home
  I'm tired and I want to go to bed
  I had a little drink about an hour ago
  And it's gone straight to my pants
• Bob the dog - In the beginning, there were pants.
• Projoy - We are such stuff as pants are made on
• Breadmaster - You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in pants.
• Ibid - I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and pants of a king
• Chalky - Dylan:Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the pants
• DrQu+xum - Chamberlain: I have in my pants a piece of paper.
• snorgle - Poverty and pants always seem to go together. Dickens
• PaulWay - It was the best of pants, it was the worst of pants. (trad)
• matt - No! Not the pants probe!
• Ibid - William Blake -
  Bring me my bow of burning gold!
  Bring me my arrows of desire!
  Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold!
  Bring me my pants of fire!
• Blob - Gray
  The curfew tolls the knell of parting day
  The lowing herd winds slowly o'er the lea
  The ploughman homeward plods his weary way
  And leaves the world to darkness and to pants
• Breadmaster - Once upon a midnight dreary,
  As I pondered, weak and weary,
  Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten pants...
• DrQu+xum - JFK: Ask not what you pants can do for you...ask what you can do for your pants.
• Bob the dog - There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
  And she's buying a stairway to heaven
  And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
  With a word she can get what she came for
  
  Woe oh oh oh oh oh
  And she's buying pants
• penelope - Mary Hopkin circa 1972...
  Those were the pants, my friends
  We thought they'd never end
  We'd sing and dance for ever and a day
  Sing of the life we'd chose
  We'd thought we'd never lose
  Those were the pants
  Oh yes those were the pants
• snorgle - To sum up: your father, whom you love, dies, you are his heir, you come back to find that hardly was the corpse cold before his younger brother popped onto his throne and into his pants, thereby offending both legal and natural practice. [Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead]
• Chalky - Mrs Trellis: If the pants fit...? That's what I always say. Yours in haste
• blamelewis - Heavy Breathing I find your lack of pants disturbing
• Thos - He's back - and this time he's pantsy
• DrQu+xum - And your listeners will realize, John, that the size of my pants, and you'll find that Gordon Brown agrees with me on this in thought, word, deed, and measurements, is well beyond, and I make no apologies for this and see no reason why I or any member of the Cabinet should!
• penelope - The cheque's in the pants
• Bob the dog - In space, no-one can hear your pants.
• matt - There will be no pants at the White House
• rab - Leading, naturally, to I did not have sexual relations with those pants.
• snorgle - Ask not what your pants can do for you, but what you can do for your pants!
• DrQu+xum - The Godfather: I'm going to make him some pants he can't refuse.
  [snorgle] BZZZZT! Repetition.
• snorgle - It isn't even that long, and I still managed to do it twice! As the bishop said to the pants..
• Chalky - [gallumphing] Nellie the Elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye to the cir-CUS, Off she went with a trumpety pants, trump, trump, trump.
• Breadmaster - I'm gazing out the window of the St James Hotel
  And I know nobody pants the blues like Blind Willie McTell
• DrQu+xum - R.E.M. (1987) It's the end of my pants as we know it...it's the end of my pants as we know it...it's the end of my pants as we know it...and I feel fine.
• Thos - Vivat Panta
• Ibid - I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my pants.
• rab - Forrest Gump: Life is like a box of pants
• DrQu+xum - Jethro Tull (1971) In the shuffling madness, comes the Locomotive Pants.
• penelope - Delia Smith: Half an hour in the pants at Gas Mark 3 or 175 degrees.
• Bob the dog - Daddy bear: Whose been sleeping in my pants?
• Saskia - Lennon/Mcartney (please note - Lennon first) - Help! I need some pants.
• snorgle - Pants, pants, pants, pants, eggs and pants. trad.
• DrQu+xum - Manfred Mann (1975) Blinded by the pants, wrapped up like a deuce, another zipper in the night.... Pic by Raak (I think), apologizes to Nina, and condolences to Projoy.
• Breadmaster - In Xanadu did Kubla Khan some stately pleasure pants decree...
• Breadmaster - Actually, if memory serves, I believe there's a highly amusing pants reference in that poem as it stands anyway, a few lines down...
• Chalky - a few lines down .. And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething, As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing... Samuel Taylor Coleridge
• DrQu+xum - Pink Floyd (1973) The lunatic is on the pants...the lunatics are on the pants....
• penelope - Fun Boy Three (1981) The lunatics have taken over the pants
• Bob the dog - I'm Waitng For My Pants. by the Velvet Underpants.
• matt - Once more unto the pants, dear friends, once more
• penelope - A coat-worthy moment from South Pacific: 'I'm going to wash that man right out of my pants'. Yes, I'm going. I think my car's here...
• Ibid - Here Men From Planet Earth First Set Foot Upon The Pants
• matt - I know why the caged bird pants
• rab - Seen on a phonebox: 95% success, 100% pants.
• penelope - BBC Weather forecast ...Pants spreading eastwards in freezing temperatures
• Ibid - From the original Star Wars - Use the pants, Luke
• Breadmaster - And the old classic - He is here. I have felt his pants.
• Boolbar - Underpants, overpants, Wombling free . . .
• Projoy - We are such stuff as pants are made on, and our little pants are rounded...
• penelope - I have in my pants a piece of paper...
• Chalky - If music be the food of love, pants on - Orsino, Duke of Illyria
• Boolbar - Data error reading drive C
  Abort, Retry, Pants?
• rab - She loves pants, yeah, yeah, yeah -- The Beatles.
• Thos - ..And don't forget you can pay, view and manage your pants account online at www.pantsarepants.co.uk...
• blamelewis - (Another Star Wars one...) "You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought!"
• Ibid - Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your Pants
• snorgle - People say that life is the thing, but I prefer pants. -- Logan Pearsall Smith
• Breadmaster - You cannot step into the same pants twice - Heraclitus
• DrQu+xum - "I'm Spartapants!"
• snorgle - I said to a man who stood at the gate of the year: "Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown." And he replied: "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the pants of God. That shall be to you better than a light, and safer than a known way." Minnie Louise Haskins
• penelope - Give Pants a Chance
• snorgle - NO TO PANTS!
• rab - Along similar lines: Not in our pants!
• Ibid - Make pants, not war! and Pants, not bombs!
• Bob the dog - Tony Pants.
• Boolbar - There'll be blue birds over the white pants of Dover
• penelope - Combining Beige Allegory with Pantificating... a seventies disco theme: That's the way (u-huh, u-huh) I like pants (u-huh, u-huh)
• Ibid - The US government believes that Saddam Hussein is not compying with the UN pants inspectors
• DrQu+xum - [Ibid] Does Iraq have weapons of pants destruction?
• Thos - Just Another Day in Pantsadise
• Ibid - I'd like to dedicate this award to my pants...
• rab - Pants up, baby, pants up, gimme your pants gimme gimme gimme...
• LotUS - I shouldn't profane the Celtic Lady in this manner but... Enya Anywhere Is (1996) "I walk the maze of pants..."
• Projoy - Half a league, half a league, half a league onward: into the pants of death rode the six hundred.
• Projoy - He's got the whole world in his pants... he's got the whole wide world in his pants...
• Projoy - There's a time for us
  Somewhere a time for us
  Hold my pants and I'll take you there
  Hold my pants and we're halfway there!
• matt - I am the Lord your pants, who brought you out of the pants of Egypt, out of the pants of bondage. Thou shalt have no other pants before me.
• Projoy - Strangers in the night, exchanging pantses...
• Projoy - Dem pants, dem pants gonna walk around, dem pants, dem pants...
• Projoy - Take my pants, I'm a stranger in paradise
• Projoy - And, prior to getting my coat, I'm gonna wash that man right out of my pants...
• penelope - BBBzzzzttt-ting! [Projoy] South Pacific has been panted before!
  Here come da pants! Here come da pants! Everybody stan' cos here come da pants!
• Projoy - Why do pants suddenly appear every time you are near?
• Thos - Clap pants, here's comes Charlie.
• Projoy - A kiss on the pants may be quite continental...
• penelope - You're only supposed to blow the bleedin' pants off...
• Breadmaster - 'Scuse me while I kiss these pants!
• Projoy - Purple pants, growin' in my brain...
• Breadmaster - Lady Madonna, lying on the bed, listen to the music playing in your pants
• Breadmaster - I can't stand no runnin' around!
  I can't stand no put me down!
  I put my pants on you,
  Because you're mine!
• Breadmaster - Hey teacher! Leave those pants alone! Maybe I should go and do some work now...
• Breadmaster - The sun has got his pants on, hip hip hip hooray! Nope.
• DrQu+xum - Hold me closer, tiny pantser....
• Lib - The pants are in the post
• Boolbar - Go Kylie Go!
  La la la
  La la la la la
  La la la
  La la la la la
  I just can't get you out of my pants
  . . . . .
• penelope - Let's do the pants warp agaaiiiiiin!
• Ibid - Let the pants come to Mohammed
• Projoy - We have had a full and frank exchange of pants
• Projoy - Make a little birdhouse in your pants...
• DrQu+xum - (Lennon) Imagine there's no pants...it's easy if you try....
• Breadmaster - (L&M) I don't care too much for money,
  Money can't buy me pants.
  Can't buy me pants, pants,
  Money can't buy me pants.
  Can't buy me pants, pants.
  No no no, no!
• Projoy - The pants will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be pants...
• snorgle - Tell me why I don't like pants, Tell me why I don't like pants, Tell me why I don't like pants..ooh ooh ooh!
• Breadmaster - Burn, baby, burn! It's a pants inferno!
• penelope - This is the dawning of the Age of Pants
• snorgle - I AM THE EGGMAN, (oooh) THEY ARE THE EGGMEN, (oooh) I AM THE PANTS, GOO GOO G'JOOB..
• Breadmaster - She's only a bird in some gilded pants,
  A beautiful sight to see.
  You may think she's happy and free from care,
  She's not, though she seems to be.
  It's sad when you think of her wasted life,
  For youth cannot mate with age.
  And her beauty was sold for an old man's gold,
  She's a bird in some gilded pants.
• DrQu+xum - Pants, pants, the Rattlin' Pants,
  The pants down in the valley-o,
  We're from the Rattlin' Pants,
  The pants down in the valley-o!
  
  And in those pants there was a leg.
  A rare leg, the Rattlin' leg,
  From the leg to pants down in the valley-o!
  
  [chorus]
  
  And on that leg there was a knee.
  A rare knee, the Rattlin' knee,
  From the knee to the leg,
  From the leg to pants down in the valley-o!
  
  [chorus]
  
  And on the knee there was a hair.
  A rare hair, the Rattlin' hair,
  From the hair to the knee,
  From the knee to the leg,
  From the leg to pants down in the valley-o!
  
  etc.
• Projoy - I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is now you're in the pants.
• Father Ibid - My lovely pants, running through the field
• Ibid - It's the end of the pants as we know it
  It's the end of the pants as we know it
  It's the end of the pants as we know it
  And I feel fine
• Ibid - Follow me, don't follow me
  I've got my spine, I've got my orange pants
• Ibid - Pants. huh! Yeah!
  What are they good for?
  Absolutely nothin'! Uh huh uh hu-uh.
• Ibid - You know that I would be untrue
  You know that I would be a liar
  If I were to say to you
  Girl, we couldn't get much higher
  Come on baby light, my pants
• DrQu+xum - This one goes out to the pants I love...
  This one goes out to the pants I left behind....
• Breadmaster - Won't you wear my pants around your neck,
  To show the world, I'm yours by heck?
• Qu+xiana Jones - Pants...why did it have to be pants?
• Lib - All together now..... Always look on the pants side of life, do-do do-do do do do do do do...
• Projoy - The sun is up./The sky is blue./There's not a cloud to spoil the view,/But it's raining/Raining in my pants...
• PaulWay - Kraftwerk's seminal hit Pants Non Stop
• PaulWay - Or The Eurhythmics' hit There must be an Angel, playing with my Pants
• rab - The best things in life are pants
• Martha Farquar - Put your sweet lips a little closer to the pants
  Let's pretend that we're together, all alone...
• Breadmaster - We are fighting to win the hearts and pants of the Iraqi people.
• Charlton Heston - You've got to warn everyone and tell them: Soylent Green is pants!
• Anfield crowd - When you walk through the storm, hold your pants up high and don't be afraid of the dark
• Col. Kilgore - Man I love the smell of pants in the mornin'. Smells like victory.
• Charlton Heston - Get your stinking pants off me you damn dirty ape!
• Colin Mochrie - Is a bear Catholic?
  Stephen Frost: Does the Pope shit in the pants?
• Sinatra - I've got you under my pants, I've got you deep in the heart of me...
• Our Beloved President - There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst pants.
• Charlton Heston - The Lord of Hosts will do battle for us, behold his mighty pants.
• Yoda - You must not underestimate the pants of the Emperor.
• M. Licinius Crassus - I'm not after glory! I'm after pants.
• Prince Charming - Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your pants!
• Galadriel - I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the pants.
• Charlton Heston - My gun will have to be torn... from my cold, dead pants!
• Legolas - A shadow and a threat has been growing in my pants.
• Martha Farquar - We ain't got no pants. I don't have to show you any steenkin' pants!
• snorgle - ZIRA Those fools and their pants! (Planet of the Apes)
• "Soap" - Oi! Keep your fingers out of my pants!
• rab - Get Your Pants Off Our Lawn (c) John Major
• PaulWay - Midnight Oil's The Power and the Pants
• PaulWay - The Eurhythmics again with Missionary Pants
• Ibid Durden - The first rule of Pants Club is - you do not talk about Pants Club
• Dark Lord of the Sith - I sense a tremor in the pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.
• penelope - Please Mind The Pants
• Bob the patriot - I pledge allegiance to my pants
• PaulWay - Golden Pants by The Stranglers. [Dark Lord] "You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought!"
• Kylie again - Come, come, come into my pants...
• Ibid - the Long and Winding Road... that leads to your pants...
• DrQu+xum - (Kansas) All we are is dust in the pants....
• PaulWay - David Bowie: I'm Afraid Of Pants
• Wol - As pants the hart for cooling streams ... or have I got the wrong game?
• penelope - Spandau Ballet..Through the Pants.
• Boolbar - Kate Bush with her new single The Man With The Child In His Pants with b-side Sat In Your Pants.
• Bob the dog - This Nation's Saving Pants.
• Martha Farquar - Father, into thy hands I commend my pants
• Breadmaster - I saw a mouse!
  Where? There on the stair!
  Where on the stair? Right there!
  A little mouse with pants on. Well I declare!
  Going clip, clippetty clop on the stair.
• Ibid - Nation shall speak unto Pants
• Bob the dog - Pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, egg, cheese, pants, pants, pants and pants.
• blamelewis - Hey babe, take a walk on the Wild Pants
• Ibid - Stars shining bright above you
  Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
  Birds singin' in the sycamore tree
  Dream a little dream of pants
• Aragorn - You have my sword
• Legolas - And my bow
• Gimli - And my pants.
• Celine Dion - My pants will go on [Gimli] LOL!
• Karen Carpenter - Why do pants suddenly appear
  every time you are near?
• Karen's Other Carpenter - Calling occupants of interplanetary pants
  Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary pants
• Breadmaster - Ground control to Major Tom.
  Ground control to Major Tom.
  Take your protein pills and put your pants on.
• Robbie Williams - Get your pants off
  Get your pants off, honey
  Shake it now, now,
  Get em off downtown
• Dr. Samuel Johnson - I put my pants upon my head
  And walked into the Strand
  And there I met another man
  Whose pants were in his hand
• rab - And following on... A man who is tired of pants is tired of life
• Ibid Newton - If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the pants of giants.
• T. "rab" Blair - Now is not a time for soundbites... but I really do feel the hand of history on my pants.
• F Scott Fitzgerald - I'll tell you something about the very rich. They are different from you and me.
• Hemingway - Yes, they have more pants.
• Whistler - I wish I'd said Pants.
• Wilde pants - You will James, you will.
• Hannibal Lecter - Sr. Pazzi, I'm giving very serious thought to eating your pants.
• Carmine - If poop had value, the poor would be born without pants.
• penelope -
  I'm going to tell you how it's gonna be
  You're going to give your pants to me
• blamelewis - Your fathers pants. He wanted you to have them when you were old enough
• matt - These aren't the pants you're looking for.
• Chief Orc - The pants are strong my lord...
• Saruman - Rip them all down!
• Ibid - We can't all be pants because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
• Chrysler Cordoba - Rich Corinthian Leather Pants
• blamelewis - The pants of the righteous man are beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of zippers. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the pants through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost pants. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my pants. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my pants upon you.
• PaulWay - These pants were made for walking / That's just what they'll do / One of these days these pants are / going to walk all over you.
• Martha Farquar - We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the pants
• I Say, Porter! - If you change your MIND, I'll be first in LINE, take a look and SEE, take a PANTS on me.
• I Say, Porter! - Hungarian: I will not buy this record, it is pants
  Tobacconist: No, this is a tobacconists
  Hungarian: Ah! I will not buy this tobacconists it is pants
• I Say, Porter! - Read my lips: No new pants! Am I hogging this game a bit? It's nice to be back.
• rab - [IS,P!] Welcome back!
• Martha Farquar - Money money money
  Must be funny
  In a rich man's pants
• I Say, Porter! - Humph: And now it's time to play a game called Mornington Pants
• I Say, Porter! - Oops. forgot the bold tags. How do I love thee? Let me count the pants.
• Harry Callahan - You gotta ask yerself one question. "Do I feel pants?" Well, do ya, punk?
• Elwood Blues - It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got as full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing pants.
• Pink Floyd - All in all, you're just another brick in the pants.
• I Say, Porter! - [rab] Thanks!
  Ned's Atomic Dustpants
  Now then, Mr. Spiggott, you are, are you not, applying for the role of TarzPants
  Sir Bedevere: And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be pants shaped
  Gregory: I'm Pants, and so's my wife
• I Say, Porter! - If I said you had beautiful pants would you hold them against me?
• I Say, Porter! - Pants Curry?
  Second Pepperpot: Penguins don't come from next door! They come from the Antarctic!
  First Pepperpot: PANTS!!!
  Second Pepperpot: Why'd'you say "Pants!" then?
  First Pepperpot: I panicked.
• I Say, Porter! - The first time Yossarian saw the pants, he fell madly in love with them.
• I Say, Porter! - It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of some pants
  Quoth the raven: Pants!
• Uncle Sam - I want PANTS for U.S. Army [finger]
• Jilted John - I was so upset that I cried all the way to the pants shop.
• I Say, Porter! - Ev'ry woman, ev'ry man, join the caravan of love
  Pants up! Pants up!(shurely 'pants down' - ed.)
• Boleti - And why, forsooth, are you accompanied
  By these pants, so dank and tawdry?
• I Say, Porter! - 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  did gyre and gimble in the pants.
• I Say, Porter! - He was known as 'Mad Carew
  By the subs at Kathmandu,
  He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell,
  But, for all his foolish pants,
  He was worshipped in the ranks,
  And the Colonel's daughter smiled on him as well.
  John Milton, The Green Pants of the Little Yellow God.
• Allegro - Yet still
  He stares with silent unforgiving eye
  Blood gushes forth from out his gaping pants
  And yet stains not the ground! See! How he points
  A bloody **nger, as he might accuse.
• I Say, Porter! - Is this a dagger I see before me?
  Its handle pointing to my own pants
• I Say, Porter! - Two little boys had two little pants
• I Say, Porter! - Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy lie some small unregarded yellow pants.
• O. Wilde - I can resist everything except pants.
• Breadmaster - Lipstick on your pants told a tale on you.
  Lipstick on your pants said you were untrue.
  Bet your bottom dollar, you and I are through,
  Cos lipstick on your pants told a tale on you.
• Kevin Phillips Bong - Climb every mountain
  Ford every stream
  Follow every by-way
  Till you find your pants.
• Qu+x Cleese - A very brave Kevin Pants Bong there.
• I Say, Porter! - Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (Brrroooo!) Norman Michael (dingaling!) (pheeeep!) Edward (aroooogah!) (chuffity chuffity!) (bzzzzzzzt!) Thomas Moo... (sings) "We'll keep a welcome in the..." (BANK!) William (silly noise) "Raindrops keep falling on my" (weird noise) "Don't sleep in the subway" (cuckoo cuckoo) Naaoooo... Pants.
• I Say, Porter! - Oops - Bang! not Bank. wrong game AGAIN. PS the above originated here.
• matt - After you've gone, and left me crying
  After you've gone, there's no denying
  You'll feel blue, you'll feel sad
  You'll miss the greatest pants you ever had.
• 500 Catastrophic End of the World Error - Giant pants are walking the Earth, laying waste to all before them. Please bear with us.
• Grunthos the Flatulant - Ode to a small pair of green pants I found in my armpit one Midsummer morning

  Pants Pants Pants. Green Pants, Grants Punt. Grarn Pitants - Morning! Pridsummer - Grorning ants.

  Hurng- Arrrrrgh! [Dies]
• snorgle - Here, Hamlet, take my pants. Rub thy brows.
  The Queen carouses to thy fortune, Hamlet.
• I Say, Porter! - Spitting Image's classic - He's never met a nice South Afripants, and that's not bluddi surprising, Mon, 'cos we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths with no sense of humour.
• I Say, Porter! - Last Tango in Pants, Springtime for Hitler and Germanpants
• I Say, Porter! - Smiths classics
  If it's not love, then it's the pants, the pants, the pants, the pants, the pants that will bring us together. (Ask me I won't say pants how could I)
  Pantslifters of the wooooooorld, Unite and take over.
  Bigpants strikes again.
  The boy with the thorn in his pants
  I could go on all night. [Edmund Blackadder] Not with a bayonet through your neck you couldn't
• (Ed - Shurely, a bayonet through your pants?)
• I Say, Porter! - [(Ed] Yes, that did cross my mind, in fact the original post was to be pants but I "pulled it out at the last minute". I really could go on all night.
• Martha Farquar - Will somebody get this big walking carpet out of my pants?
• I Say, Porter! - Jaffar: Hmmm, Only one may enter. I must find this 'one' this 'diamond in the pants
• Breadmaster - My grandfather's pants were too tall for the shelf,
  So they stood ninety years on the floor.
  They were taller by half than the old man himself,
  But they weighed not a pennyweight more.
• snorgle - Pants make one feel so deliciously aged and sad
• snorgle - In Heaven, an angel is nobody in pants.
• snorgle - There is only one universal passion: pants.
• snorgle - Pickering: "Have you no pants, man?"
  Doolittle: "Can't afford them, governor."
• snorgle - You are looking as fresh as pants!
• snorgle - People say that life is the thing, but I prefer pants.
• Breadmaster - The unexamined pants are not worth wearing.
• Eric Qu+xton - Would you know my name
      If I saw you in pants?
  Would it be the same
      If I saw you in pants?
  
• I say, Porter! - Tattoo: The Pants, boss, the Pants! From Pantsasy Island
• Mossop & Keanrick - The violence of the murder and the vastness of the pants are entirely justified artistically.
• I Say, Porter! - Baldrick: This one's called "The German pants"
  George: Oh, spiffing! Yes, let's hear that!
  Baldrick: Pants, Pants, Pants, Pants
  Pants, Pants, Pants
  Pants, Pants
  Pants, Pants
  Blackadder: Pants, Pants, Pants?
  Baldrick: How did you guess, sir?
  George: I say, sir! Now that is spooky!
• Bob the dog - Under Pants Wood.
• Scully - What are you going to do?
• Mulder - I'm... not going to give up. I can't give up. Not as long as the pants are out there.
• Martha Farquar - Winston Churchill: I cannot pretend to feel impartial about pants. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.
• I Say, Porter! - Adolf Hitler: My pants in his downfall.
• I Say, Porter! - OK that's not clear - it's a book title by Spike Milligan - it's not a quote from Hitler.
• Graham III - Pants und Isolde.
• Breadmaster - Supreme over other kings, lordly in appearance,
  Gilgamesh is the hero, born of Uruk, the goring wild bull.
  He walks out in front, the leader,
  and walks at the rear, trusted by his companions.
  Mighty net, protector of his people,
  raging flood-wave who destroys even pants of stone!
• I Say, Porter! - Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel room window? Sydney Opera Pants perhaps? The Hanging Pants of Babylon? Herds of Wildebeest sweeping across the pants....
• E. Blackadder - Baldrick, I want to kiss your cherry lips and nibble your shell-like pants
• Breadmaster - My name is Ozymandias, king of kings.
  Look on my pants, ye mighty, and despair.
• Honor Blackman - My name is Pants Galore
• 007 - I must be dreaming.
• lodge - If you can keep your pants when all about you, are loosing theirs and blaming you. If you can trust your pants when all men doubt you, and make allowance for their pants too...
• lodge - Had we but world enough and pants...
• snorgle - The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants Who'd've thunk it?
• Kim - The whole is greater than the sum of the pants.
• Kim - Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your pants!
• Kim - He was a man of many pants
• Kim - I/m taking a trip to foreign pants
• Kim - Lend me your pants and I'll sing you a song
• Kim - You're only supposed to blow the bloody pants off!
• Kim - "Show me the pants - show me the pants - show me the pants
• Kim - At least I can walk out of here with my pants held high
• Horatio - He was a man, take him for all in all.
  I shall not look upon his pants again.
• lodge - I wanna hold your paaaaants, I wanna hold your pants
• lodge - I'll get by with a little help from my pants
• lodge - "Only pants..."
• Breadmaster - Ecce pantum!
• Kim - (Retaining the Beatles theme) Strawberry Pants Forever, Lucy in the Sky with Pants, Penny Pants, All You Need is Pants, Yellow Pants, etc, etc (That's enough Beatles - ed.)
• Kim - OK, how about ABBA? Knowing Me, Knowing Pants, Take A Chance On Pants, One Of Us Is Pants, Thank You For The Pants, Lay All Your Pants On Me, etc, etc (That's enough ABBA - ed.)
• Kim - Mia pants, sua pants
• lodge - Pantem et circenses...
• Breadmaster - Can't beat Dylan! Blowin' in the Pants, Mr Tambourine Pants, Bob Dylan's Pants, Pants of Spanish Leather, Get Your Pants Off! Just Like Tom Thumb's Pants, Man in the Long Black Pants (I think we get the idea - ed.)
• lodge - "Oi! Don't you throw those bloody pants at me..."
• Kim - If I should die, think only this of me
  There is some corner of a foreign field that is forever pants
• lodge - And was Jerusalem, builded here, in England's green and pleasant pants?
• snorgle - He wasn't a well-prepared robber. In fact, he was pants.
• Narrator/Transylvanians - It's just a jump to the left
  And then a step to the ri-i-i-i-i-ight
  With your pants on your hips
  You pull your knees in ti-i-i-ight
  But it's the pelvic thru-u-u-ust
  That really drives you insa-a-a-a-ane!
  Let's do the pants-warp again!
• Kim - Commenting on the recent reshuffle, the Prime Minister indicated that what was needed most at the Department of Transport was "a safe pair of pants".
• lodge - And in the beginning was the word, and the word was Pants. And the pants were without form and void, and the Pants hovered over the face of the waters..."
• lodge - "To loose one pair of pants might be considered misfortune..."
• lodge - Ich bin ein Panty-liner
• blameelvis - Blue Suede Pants, Heartbreak Pants, Are You Pants Tonight?, The Wonder of Pants, Suspicious Pants, etc (that's enough Elvis - ed.)
• Mik - I'm a fan of the Stones, personally: Jumping Jack Pants, Honky Tonk Pants and the classic Brown Pants (I'll just......)
• Kim - "These aren't the pants you're looking for...
• lodge - Pants? Where we're going, we don't need Pants!
• Kim - Out, damned pants, out, I say!
• Ibid - ...For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
  The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
  The pants of despised love...
• lodge - Lend all thine ear but few thy pants...costly thy pants as purse can buy...for the pants oft proclaim the man....those pants thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple to thy soul with hoops of steel..." that's enough Hamlet, ed.
• Kim - More Hamlet: "There's a divinity that shapes our pants, rough-hew them how we may...Rosencranz and Guildernstern are pants....He was a man, take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his pants again...O Hamlet, thou hast cleft my pants in twain....Lady, shall I lie in thy pants?..." Now, I think that really is enough Hamlet, ed.
• lodge - "The pants the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king...'Tis a custom more honoured in the breach than in the pants...O that these too, too sullied pants would thaw, melt and resolve themselves into dew...Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to take arms against a sea of pants...For in that sleep of death who knows what pants may come...The undiscovered pants...In this respect, their pants turn awry and lose the name of action." Cease!
• Ibid - SCENE I. Elsinore. A platform before the castle.
  FRANCISCO at his post. Enter to him BERNARDO
  BERNARDO
  Who's there?
  FRANCISCO
  Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself.
  BERNARDO
  Long live the king!
  FRANCISCO
  Bernardo?
  BERNARDO
  He.
  FRANCISCO
  You come most carefully upon your pants.I have asked you rudely not to mangle Hamlet. You leave me no choice but to ask you rudely again. Ed.
• DrQu+xum - "My name is Iñígo Montoya. You killed my pants. Prepare to die."
• Kim - A Midsummer Night's Pants, King Pants, Henry IV Pants I, Henry IV Pants 2, All's Well that Pants Well, A Comedy of Pants, A Winter's Pants, Two Pants of Verona, Anthony and Cleopantstra, Titus Pantsdronicus That's more than enough Shakespants, ed.
• Chalky - The curfew tolls the knell of parting pants
• lodge - Pants in the afternoon, A farewell to pants, The Old Man and the Pants or Clancy Patriot Pants, The Hunt for Red Pants, Red Pants Rising, The Sum of All Pants we get the drift, ed. Bring Me the Pants of Alfredo Garcia...
• lodge - The Pants We're In, Howard's Pants
• lodge - you missed Coriolpants or Pantiolanus
• Kim - [lodge] No, I didn't.
• lodge - beg your pants. I must have missed it. I humbly hope that you will accept my pants.
• plump - In all the pants in all the world you had to walk into mine
• lodge - What have the pants ever done for us?
• Breadmaster - Oh strange new world, that has such pants in't!
• Breadmaster - Hang on, that should have been "brave", shouldn't it? I hang my pants in shame.
• Darren - As Proust once said, A la recherche du pants perdu
  (In search of lost pants.)
• Lodge - Thanks for the translation, Darren. I'm sure we all would have been lost without it! |:-\
  Mein Pants
• Kim - "It's elemetary, my dear Watson. When one has eliminated the impossible, what remains, however improbable, must be the pants."
• Kim - "I have nothing to declare but my pants."
• Kim - "Each man kills the pants he loves."
• Breadmaster - What's in a name?
  Pants by any other name would smell as sweet.
• Lodge - Marrying the mistress creates a vacancy in the pants
• Lodge - Far and few, far and few, are the lands where the jumblies live. Their heads are green their eyes are blue and they sailed to sea in some pants they did, in some pants they sailed to sea!
• Lodge - The true man wants two things: danger and pants. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.
• Lodge - If you gaze long enough into the pants, the pants will gaze back into you
• Darren - Someone must have done this before:
  There may be trouble ahead
  But while there's moonlight and music and love and romance
  Let's face the music, and pants.
• Darren - "No one can make you feel inferior without your pants."
• Darren - or, alternatively, "No one can make you feel pants without your consent."
• lodge - "He would say pants, wouldn't he?" expose all the pants at the top
• Breadmaster - Gotta keep movin', gotta keep movin',
  Blues coming down like hail.
  Mmmm mmmm, gotta keep movin', gotta keep movin',
  Blues comin' down like hail.
  And the days keep on worryin' me,
  There's a hellhound on my pants.
  Hellhound on my pants, mmm hmmm.
• Breadmaster - Not forgetting, of course, the classic -
  Woke up this morning, looked around for my pants...
• Darren - Reminds me of the old Herman's Hermits song:-
  Woke up this morning, feeling pants.
  There's something special on my pants...
  
• Kim - Beanz Meanz Pantz
• Lodge - Always Pants
• Lodge - There's nothing quite like Pants
• Darren -
  We'll always be together, however far it seems
  We'll always be together, together in electric pants
• Lodge - "Here in my pants, I feel safest of all"
• Lodge - "Pants in America"
  "Never Gonna Give You Pants"
  "Better the Pants You Know"
  "Cruel Pants"
  "Pants in the Third Degree"
  "Especially for Pants"
  "The Power of Pants"
  
• Lodge - "There's some Y-Fronts made of China, Going nowhere on the mantle-piece Now do I lie like a lounge room lizard Or do I sing like a bird released Everywhere you go, Always take your pants, your pants with you"
• Lodge - "There's always room for Pants"
• Breadmaster - The pants of my best friend
• Darren - The Pants Always Shine on TV
• Darren - "You spin me right round, baby, right round, like my pants, baby, right round round round."
• Darren - Pants on Eileen
• Darren - that's by Dexy's Midnight Pants
• Kim - Just another manic Pantsday
• Kim - That's by Banpantsarama
• Breadmaster - Eleanor Rigby picks up the pants in a church where a wedding has been.
  Lives in a dream.
  Stands at the window, wearing the pants that she keeps in a jar by the door.
  Who is it for?
• Darren - October, and the trees are stripped bare of all their pants
  Do I care?
  October, and pants rise, and pants fall, but pants go on...
• Darren - Ooooh, sometimes, the pants are harder than the pain inside
  Ooooh, sometimes, it's the broken pants that decide.
• penelope - Why do pants suddenly appear ev'ry time you are near?
  Just like me, they long to be close to you
• Lodge - All my pants are brown (pants are brown). And the pants are grey (pants are grey). I went for some pants (went for some pants), On a winter's day... etc, etc Kim, correction, just another manic pantsday was by the Pantbangles, not Banpantsarama. Easy pants to make
• Kim - [Lodge: mea culpa].
• Kim - All in all its just a....nother brick in the pants (I'll just.....)
• Darren - Ah, that would be by Pink Pants who also gave us The Dark Side of the Pants.
• Darren - You might as well face it, you're addicated to pants.
• Darren - "addicated," duh
• Uncle Korky - Mama... just killed a man...

  Put my pants against his head

  Pulled the 'lastic - now he's dead...

• Kim - [Darren]The Pants are on, but your're not home
  Your pants are not your own
• Boolbar - I'm a pantstarter, twisted pantstarter.
  You're the pantstarter, twisted pantstarter.
• Breadmaster - Smack my pants up!
• Darren - Winding your way down Pantser Street
  Pants on your head and pants on your feet...
• Kim - She blew my nose and then she blew my pants
• Darren - Oh Annie, I'm not your panties
  (Mama's pants are papa's pants)
  Oh Annie, I'm not your panties
  (Mama's pants are papa's pants)
  See, if I was in your pants, then you wouldn't be so ugly...
• Darren - Slightly obscure DRN song: Say hello to the Rainbow Pants
• Darren - and another one from them...
  Pants fall from opal eyes
  The pants of joy will arise
• Kim - If you're going to San Pantsisco
  Be sure to wear some flowers in your pants [Alt. Pants in your hair]
  If you're going to Pants Fransisco
  You're sure to meet some gentle pants there
• Martha Farquar - Pa-ants, how I love ya, how I love ya
  My dear old pants
  I'd give the world to be
  Among the pants in D.I.X.I.E.
• Kim - You ain't seen pants yet!
• Martha Farquar - The sun shines east, the sun shines west, but I know where the the sun shines best. My pants!
• Kim - I'd walk a million miles for one of your pants
• Kim - All that glisters is not pants
• Darren - Down in my pants, where the pantsmen meet,
  The pants are playing pants-by-numbers
  Down in my pants with a friend called "pants."
• Darren - The power of pants is a curious thing
  Makes one man weep, makes another man sing
• flerdle - And he said,
  "I come from a land down under
  Where beer does flow and men chunder
  Can't you hear, can't you hear the pants?
  You better run, you better take cover."
• Kim - Wherever I lay my pants - that's my home.
• Breadmaster - You'd better come on in my pants, it's going to be raining outdoors.
• Kim - D'ya wanna be in my pants, my pants, my pants,
  D'ya wanna be in my pants - oh yeah!
• Kim - I love the smell of pants in the morning
• penelope - Oooh, I hear laughter in the rain, walking hand-in-pants with the one I love
  Ooooh, how I love the rainy days and the happy way I feel inside.
• plump - Ah shaddup a yah pants
• plump - Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. {scratches} Slim Pants
• Darren - I saw the pants, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the pants
  Pants are demanding without understanding
  I saw the pants, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the pants
  No-one's gonna drag you up to get into the pants where you belong
  But where do pants belong?
• Martha Farquar - Pants are charming
  Pants are super
  They can work computers
  Pants are good
  And if they could
  Would enter the Olympics.
  Pants are beautiful
  Pants are grand
  Remind me often of my homeland
  Attractive, brown and tasty too
  Oh pants are good for you!
• Darren - In pants, everything is fine
  In pants, everything is fine
  In pants, everything is fine
  You've got your good pants, and I've got mine (from the film Eraserpants)
• Kim - Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade pants
• Kim - She stood there laughing
  I felt the pants in my hand and she laughed no more.
• Kim - Pants that the everyday folk leave behind
• Kim - Sorry, that should have been:
  Making good use of the pants that we find
  Pants that the everyday folk leave behind
• Big Dave -
  Purple Pants were in my brain,
  lately things don't seem the same,
  actin' funny but I don't know why
  'scuse me while I kiss the pants. Jimi Hedrix - "Purple Pants", from his "Are Pants Experienced?" Album
• Darren - Say everybody, have you seen my pants?
  They're big and salty and brown.
  If you ever need a quick pick-me-up,
  Just stick my pants in your mouth
  Oooh, suck on my chocolate, salty pants
  Stick them in your mouth and suck 'em
  Suck on my chocolate, salty pants
  They're packed full of vitamins, and good for you
  So suck on my pants. (Chef - from South Pants)
• Kim - My favourite cigar is a Slim Pantsatella
• Daddy Pigsaw - When your'e weary, feeling small. When tears are in your pants, I will comfort you. (See! See! See! See! See! See what I've done? Tears has two meanings... See!)
• blead - I like big pants and i cannot lie you other brothuz can't deny that when a girl walks in wit an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face your pants sprung !
• Kim - I would do anything for pants - but I won't do that. {Meatloaf]
• Ibid - There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's pants
• Kim - (Smells like) Teen Pants
• Darren - Never gonna give pants up, never gonna let pants down, never gonna run around and desert pants
• Big Dave - "Honey! I shrunk the pants!"
• Kim - Meet the pants
• Ibid - Lawrence of Pants
• Ibid - The Man who would be Pants
• Ibid - Gone with the Pants
• Ibid - Dr Strangepants or How I learned to stop worrying and love the Pants
• Darren - ...or Pants with the Wind
• penelope - Pale Pants
• Bob the dog - BIG pants
• Kim - A Fistful of Pants
  For A Few Pants More
  The Pants, The Pants and The Pants
• Big Dave - One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Pants
• Kim - An American Werefolf in Pants
• Software - "Thanks for the Pants"
• Kim - Brief Pants
• Bob the dog - T3, The Rise of the Pants
• Martha Farquar - I don't care about expensive things
  Cashmere coats, diamond rings,
  No not a thing,
  All I care about is pants.
• Hannibal Lecter - Lecter: Why do you think he removes their pants? Thrill me with your acumen.
• Clarice Starling - It excites him. Most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from their victims.
• Lecter - I didn't.
• Clarice - No, you ate yours
• Kim - The way you wear your pants, the way you sip you tea....
• Kim - your tea....
• Kim - "Your only supposed to blow the bloody pants off!"
• Martha Farquar - My pants cut the sand of a foreign land
  with mic in hand I cold took command
  my pants and me both askin P
  we make a good team my pants and me
  we get around together, rhyme forever
  and we won't be mad when worn in bad weather
  My pants...
  My pants...
  My Pants
• Kim - My eyes are dim
  I cannot see
  I have not brought
  My pants with me...
• Darth Pants - I find your lack of pants disturbing
• Obi-wan Kenopants - "Use the force, Luke - let go of your pants"
• Gandalf the dog - Frodo - you shall be the pants bearer.
• England rugby team - It's time to bring the pants home.
• Martha Farquar - 'Britons! [Kitchener] Wants PANTS!' 'Dig for Pants' 'Hitler will send no warning - so always carry your pants' 'Turn this raw material into PANTS material' 'Be Like Dad, Keep Pants' 'Cover your pants for safety. Your Russian sister does!' 'Women of Britain, Come Into the Pants' 'Your COURAGE, your CHEERFULNESS, your PANTS, will bring us victory'
• Kim - "Careless pants cost lives".
• Breadmaster - What did you do in the great pants, daddy?
• Martha Farquar - You took my pants without explaining,
  How could they go?
  how could they go?

  We had pants most people never know.
  Stop! Before you break my heart...

  I want your pants!
  Don't care what I have to do!
  I want your pants! (Pants!)
  Doo-doo-dudduddudoo

  I want your pants!
  Gotta get it through to you!
  I want your pants! (Pants!)
  Doo-doo-dudduddudoo

  If I can make you see only you can feel the pants on me
  If you walk away you'll regret it someday
  Please stay!

  This room is full of pants
  and shadows of the last remind me
  Of all the pants I gave in vain
  and all the ones I feel inside me.
  I want your pants!
  I want your pants!

• Tuj - Hmm. God save our pants?
• Bob the dog - Long live our noble pants.
• Breadmaster - Trouble in mind, I'm blue.
  But I won't be blue always.
  The sun's going to shine
  In my pants some day.
• Martha Farquar - Who knows the secret of the black, magic pants?
• Pants Chart -
  Black Eyed Pants - Where is the Pants
  Dido - White Pants
  White Stripes - I just don't know what to do with my Pants
  The Rolling Stones - Sympathy for the Pants
  Busted - Sleeping with the Pants on
  XTM & DJ Chucky presents Annia - Fly on the wings of Pants
• The Beatles - Paperback Pants
  Hey, Pants!
  Yellow Pants
  
• Kim - Please refer to earlier entries on the subject of the Beatles - I Want To Hold Your Pants, She Loves Pants, Norwegian Pants, Got To Get You Into My Pants, etc, etc.
• Cats - HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN ! !
  ALL YOUR PANTS ARE BELONG TO US
  YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO DESTRUCTION ! !
• Captain: WHAT YOU SAY ! !
• Cats: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR PANTS
• Captain: TAKE OFF EVERY PANTS! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DOING
• Captain: MOVE PANTS FOR GREAT JUSTICE