Say, why don't we do the show right here?

Having successfully zhooshed into existence pantomimes and Shakespearean plays, surely it's time for us to put on a musical. The best musicals are terse, brief affairs, based on a well known story, so rather than trying to create a full-length effort, let's instead create single scene musicals which dash through the plot at Reduced Shakespeare speed, interpolated with songs about 4 lines long.

And so it begins...

• Projoy - So I think we should start with an attempt at a speed-musical based on Big Brother (incidentally, if you have no idea of what I'm talking about, this game idea was inspired by the musical version of The Silence of the Lambs)
• Projoy - Oops. Here's the correct link, but they seem to have exceeded their bandwidth.
• Projoy -

  ---

• Orchestra - *Murky music begins in the depths of the cellos and rises very quickly to a dramatic climax
• The Housemates - appear on stage behind a big gauze which is quickly flown out and stand in a line backlit dramatically amidst smoke.
• The Housemates - (unison)
  We're ready!
  Ready for what you've got!
• Craig - Throw what you want at us!
• Nasty Nick - Hate us and laugh at us!
• Sada, Caroline, Nicola - Bring it on! Show us the way
  to get into the house,
• The Men -
  Into the limelight
• The Housemates - (unison)
  Into fame! Fame! FAME!
•   -

  Lights up on the compound. DAVINA McCALL steps out front with a clipboard

• Davina - (In an authoritative manner, dressed all in black and preferably about 6.5 months pregnant). Hello, and welcome to Big Brother!
• Sada -

  (steps forward into the spotlight)

  Okay, yah, 'kay yah.
  I'm just the
  Biggest thing this show has ever seen
  And I'm a novelist!
  The flattest matest, dahling, I'm the queen
  The bestest hovelist!

   

• Davina -

  Well that's what you say, my darling
  How about the viewers' votes?

   

• Sada - Oh my God, my rating's fallen!
• Davina - Blew your trumpet, burned your boats!
• Cast - Out! Out! Out! Out! OUT!
• Craig - (sounds of sawing, hammers and wall crashing down.
  smoke billows from the right of stage, to reveal a grinning idiot

  On daytime I made my new life from MDF
  And now to pickle Carole Smilie in a jar
  I am the people's chump

• The Cast - *after a long silence from the orchestra, take bows and return to the dressing room for an early bath*

  ---

• Projoy - A lie someone just posted has made me think there might be a game in another show-related concept, so maybe we can take a stab at that instead...
• Audience - *shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Projoy*
• CdM - [Projoy] I would have tried to join in, but I know nothing about the show...
• Projoy - Perhaps we can revive it in a more user-friendly format later on, if people are agreeable...

This is the end of the line. There is no more.