The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
And so it begins....
Expose more
-
Expose all
Projoy
-
When one listens to Radio Three
goldfinch
-
(Which is not at all smug or snob
by
)
Raak
-
One's erudite taste
penelope
-
Does not go to waste
Pablo
-
With Darjeeling as one's choice of tea
Bismarck
-
Now Radio Four's for the few
Rosie
-
Such as those who Haven't A Clew
Projoy
-
And those who like Ambridge
Chalky
-
Or speak the welsh language
goldfinch
-
Tuned in from Lundy in a canoe.
Rosie
- (Chalky)
Ofnadwy! Ti'n medddw neu rhywbeth?
Software
-
Radio Caroline for me is the best
Projoy
-
For those who are pop tune obsessed
Rosie
-
But if you like jazz
penelope
-
Scuttle Radio Caz
goldfinch
-
And give Tony Blackburn a rest.
Projoy
-
There's four thousand holes in the hall
Bismarck
-
Through which the kobolds will crawl
Raak
-
Even Superman quails
Software
-
His power fails
Rosie
-
So holes blocked, therefore, sod all.
goldfinch
-
There’s nine million bikes in Beijing
Software
-
Each with a bell that goes
ping
Projoy
-
They fly through the dawn
Raak
-
And park on the lawn
Bismarck
-
Against the law of Comrade Xi Jiping
Projoy
-
When the clock strikes out four steady chimes
Raak
-
It's the signal to set loose the mimes
goldfinch
-
Whose blitheness of spirit
Rosie
-
Is of great mirit
NZ pronunciation invoked
Software
-
And moves along with the times
Projoy
-
There isn't a reason I know
goldfinch
-
Why the cat should be starting to glow
Software
-
Perhaps it's on heat
Rosie
-
And hoping to meet
Radox The Green
-
A cool cat to lay on a show.
Projoy
-
I'm feeling some strange feelings, man
goldfinch
-
And I’m not sure it’s part of the plan
Chalky
-
I seem to be joined
goldfinch
-
(While my reason’s purloined)
Bismarck
-
By James Bond in a VW van.
Chalky
-
I've just taken leave of my senses
Projoy
-
And I've start to relinquish my tenses
Raak
-
My ego is stilled
Rosie
-
Libido killed
Stevie
-
Ennui's destroyed my mental fences.
Projoy
-
A spell at the track, watching dogs
goldfinch
-
In pursuit of fake hare each dog jogs
Rosie
-
But a jog supersonic
Pablo
-
(and that's NOT a mneumonic!)
Radox The Green
-
Cannot be achieved wearing clogs.
Projoy
-
It grows in each corner, like mould
Stevie
-
When the air becomes stale, damp and cold
Chalky
-
But if rats intervene
goldfinch
-
Just apply margarine
Rosie
-
A rodenticide, so I am told.
KagomeShuko
-
If it's butter you seemingly lack,
CdM
-
Then make use of this genius hack:
Raak
-
Find a dandelion field
goldfinch
-
And ‘neath your chin wield
Chalky
-
A small knob of Danish Lurpak
CdM
-
All the poems that ever were written
Projoy
-
Can't compare to the new of a kitten
Projoy
-
*mew
Stevie
- BIFURCATION!
But "new what?" you may ask | That soprano cry
Tuj
-
Well! Let onlookers bask | Could bring tears to the eye
Chalky
-
And they'll note that I've just been bitten/And a language that's yet to be written
CdM
- Hmmm... Let's see if this one goes any better. :)
The most desperate words ever spoken
Projoy
-
I exclaimed as I woke in Hoboken:
Raak
-
"Send Marmite! And cheese!"
Stevie
-
"And some toasted bread, please"
Simons Mith
-
And a 50p gas meter token!
Stevie
- [CdM]
Another flub. 50P? In Hoboken? Woe, lackaday etc 8o)
CdM
-
All the dreams of my youth are long faded
Raak
-
All my sensuous tastes are long jaded
Radox The Green
-
I shall lie in my bed
Chalky
-
And watch TV instead
Projoy
-
Then wink out, just the way the display did
Now the arc of my plan's more a spike
Software
-
What's that? Speak into the mike
Raak
-
A bang then a whimper
Simons Mith
-
A fart and a simper
CdM
-
(And the heckler can get on his bike)
CdM
- [R,R,C,P] Now
that
was a limerick!
Rosie
- (CdM) Agreed. Top-drawer.
Projoy
-
Can the real Mister Shady stand up?
Software
-
So that we can present the cup
Pablo
-
And a small piece of paper
blamelewis
-
Freshly dropped by a vaper
Chalky
-
Which proves his real name is Miles Jupp
Rosie
-
I am a Morniverser
Projoy
- May I revise as I think you put a glow worm in the limericks (and vice versa)
I play in the Morniverse games
Raak
-
Wearing gold-plated spectacle frames
Chalky
-
But have noticed of late
Projoy
-
That they're losing their plate
KagomeShuko
-
So I guess it's time for new frames.
Projoy
-
Be young and be foolish, he said.
Rosie
-
So do it now, before you are dead
(Pj) Yeah, funny stuff, alcohol. A small molecule that goes round the brain pulling out a few plugs.
muttleee
-
Because once you're deceased
goldfinch
-
Turns out everything's leased
Projoy
-
Sink your gold in a cask lined with lead.
CdM
-
O! Were it not for my vanity
Raak
-
I'd eschew this vexatious insanity
goldfinch
-
I’d cast off my qualms
Projoy
-
Call out saws; sing out psalms
Software
-
I'd live in total inanity
goldfinch
-
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth
[
1
]
Software
-
'cos for now they just need a wreath
Projoy
-
All the toffees I chewed
penelope
-
And the plaque I accrued
muttleee
-
Means they're not even fit to bequeath
To some lucky relative, obvs. :-)
CdM
-
On the day that the music ceased living
Radox The Green
-
I remember that I was then giving
Projoy
-
Out newspapers, news
goldfinch
-
Of the dry levee blues
Chalky
-
And such heartbreak went deep like a shivving
Software
-
While rooting around in my shed
Rosie
-
Up with which I soon got fed
CdM
-
Then off with which pissed
(View the source to read the hidden text)
Projoy
-
I was - you - grabbed my wrist
(pass the parse-l)
Chalky
-
Which down balloon went like a lead
Projoy
-
The legs that I grow in my garden
Chalky
-
Need concrete and sun for to harden
Rosie
-
And when they are done
CdM
-
With concrete and sun
Rosie
-
I'll be stuck; can't move; beg pardon.
Projoy
-
I'm refined: I drink sherry and port.
Simons Mith
-
A mixture my grandmother taught
Tuj
-
Though she'd also opine
Raak
-
That strawberry wine
Rosie
-
Was poison, and lands you in court.
Projoy
-
Be awatch, for the tigers may come
Software
-
Sneak up and bite on your bum
Simons Mith
-
If they come from the side
goldfinch
-
You’ll be swiftly de-thighed
Chalky
-
Leaving one buttock startlingly numb
CdM
-
The most perfect example of karma
Chalky
-
Occurs if one unmasks a llama
Simons Mith
-
When their cover is blown
Raak
-
They despairingly moan
Software
-
They love to make it a drama
Simons Mith
-
Alpacas are much more relaxed
Rosie
-
E'en when their patience is taxed
Projoy
- Can I suggest a tweak?:
Though their patience must sorely be taxed
By the wool in their eyes
CdM
-
And so it's no surprise
muttleee
-
That they're calmest when recently waxed
Pablo
-
So may we now welcome the spring?
Raak
-
Or is it but premature bling?
CdM
-
Should we really focus
Bismarck
-
On tulips and crocus
Projoy
-
Late April, O where wert thy schwing?
CdM
-
Although last month was awfully cruel
CdM
- Often I come back and re-read these lines, and find the scansion/stress in my head is less clear on the page. :(
Although
last
month was awfully cruel
Software
-
So cold it used up my fuel
Raak
-
("...
all
my fuel"?)
The forecast's Set Fair
Projoy
-
For somewhen; for somewhere
Chalky
-
So will now head south-east to Kitzbühel
Bismarck
-
Take one pound of self-raising flour
Projoy
-
And some free range eggs into the shower.
Chalky
-
Add dandruff shampoo
goldfinch
-
And a bath bomb or two
CdM
-
Then bake Gas Mark 4 for an hour
Projoy
-
I unwisely deployed a molossus
Rosie
-
A poetical speed-bump to boss us
(Pj) That was
difficult
Bismarck
-
The confounded thing
Why not take a stand?
Moniker
Stance
prev
-
up
-
next