This new place needs a little something, while rab has nipped out to sort out the solicitors call in and drop off your gifts.
Software - This
ripsaw will be useful to help him fit that door he got earlier.
Raak - A
sunshade, to cope with Edinburgh's tropical summers.
irach - If it's Edinburgh we're talking about, surely a nice
tartan kilt is in order.
Kim - This large remnant of "luxury"
underlay will give rab's bedroom carpet that extra feel of softness and quality. And it's only £4.99 per square yard!
Juxtapose - I brought a
venus flytrap to keep the spiders down. You can just put it anywhere.
Raak - A tame
will o' the wisp as a reminder of the transience of all things, even a new apartment.
irach - A
xeriscaped terrarium for rab to exhibit his exotic Saharan cactus collection.
Software - A
Yo-yo to while away those long hours sitting on the balcony.
Chalky - .. and a complete set of
ZZ Top CD's to annoy the neighbours.
Juxtapose - Isn't rab affianced? We should bring stuff over for his lady.
Kim - Splendid idea. I offer this nice ripe
avocado.
irach - Nothing like a large
beanbag for those romantic frolics in the living room.
Software - Play safe, here are some
condoms.
Phil - A
Dido CD should help set the mood.
irach - A large roomy
easy chair is an absolute must for rab and his affianced one to cuddle together in.
Raak - In front of a warm
fireplace.
Tuj - A
goat, so rab's goat isn't lonely.
Software - He'll certainly need this
hat nights - I found some
ice. I heard it has it's applications.
irach - Some
jojoba oil certainly helps with those long senual body massages.
Uncle Korky - Does the
KY need any introduction?
I'll get it from the peg on my way out irach - Some fine silk
lingerie for his lady to set the mood.
Phil - A bottle of
Moët often helps
irach - A
nanny goat will keep the aforementioned two goats already acquired by rab busy, so that rab and his lady can also cavort undisturbed.
Inkspot - Ready for when he wants to do a bit of cooking, several kilos of ready chopped
onion.
Software - All he has go to cook them on is this old
Primus® stove.
Raak - Everyone should have a
quern. You can't beat hand-ground flour.
8irach - A
Rubik's cube is ideal to while away the hours whe rab's lady is not around.
Software - Perhaps he could amuse her, or perhaps, himself with these sexy
suspenders.
irach - A
unicorn tapestry would certainly look nice hung on the wall.
Software - Maybe he could find some space for this old
VAX 11/780 which needs a good home.
irach - An
X-Acto knife would be useful as a tool around the house.
Tuj - [irach] You neglected to mention the
water buffalo.
Kim - A
Yard of Ale, just to prove that he can.
Phil - I'm skint now, after buying a CD and champers, so they're getting
zilch!
Raak - Time to close the door and tiptoe away...
Audience -
*shouts, screams generally goes wild for Raak* nights - Well, it's better than a wedding list at John Lewis, isn't it?
This is the end of the line. There is no more.