There doesn't seem to have been a historical headlines game on an MC site for yonkeroos. How about one here? *silence ensues* Right then, motion carried.
And so it begins...
Thos - And to commence we need a nice historical event for our gallant press to comment on. How about:
The Olympic Games are revived in 1896?
Thos -
Radio Times: BBC1, 5.20 pm Modern Olympic Games from Athens (repeat).
DrQu+xum -
Daily Mirror: Games To Be Held In Falling Acropolis? Are English Athletes Safe?
penelope -
Hello!: Athens Becomes Fashionable Resort After Revival of Olympic Games in Historic City, Attire to Take Sporting Theme for Next Summer.
rab -
Daily Mail: They are all asylum seekers.
matt -
Evening Standard: Olympic Tube Chaos Hits London
DrQu+xum -
Sunday Sport: Alien Feta Cheese Ate My Javelin!
Grant - -
Daily Telegraph Ten thousand die in Olympic stadium colapse - No Britons hurt
Thos -
Old Moore's Almanac: Success of Games will result in yearly recurrance.
Wol -
Athens had to get the Olymics - it was a feta compli ... DrQu+xum -
Independent: Athens To Host Revived Olympic Games
(oblig.) matt -
Financial Times: Interest Rate Cut Inevitable As Olympic Debt Crisis Deepens
rab - Any one mind if we keep this moving with a new headline? Ok then...
William the Conqueror wins the Battle of Hastings, 1066
rab -
The Sun: It wos the Sun wot won it.
Chalky -
Daily Mail: France Unleashes Arrows of Mass Destruction
Ibid - Surely
Daily Mail - They are all asylum seekers
matt -
Men's Health: An Archer's Body in Just Six Weeks! Satisfy Your Wench the Norman Way. Lose Weight Fast with the Wild Boar Diet. Expert Guide to Rape and Pillage. Plus: Latest Exclusive Armour Styles Direct From France.
matt - And not forgetting:
Evening Standard: Norman Invasion Tube Chaos Hits London
Just barely resisting the urge to do one about Conquestion Charging...
rab -
Exclusive to all tabloids: One in the eye for our Hal.
DrQu+xum -
Sunday Sport: Alien Frogs Shot A Rod In My Eye!
Blob -
Guardian - Conker wins day at Hustings
The Sun - That's one in the eye for you, Harold !
rab - [Blbl] Strange feeling of deja vu there...
rab - That's [Blob], obviously.
Blob - [rab] Oh yes, sorry - somehow missed that, or got it subliminally implanted more like. ... O.k. then, in amelioration,
Financial Times Norman takeover bid for England plc successful. Saxon Holdings go into receivership.
Chalky -
The Independant - William the Conqueror wins the Battle of Hastings.
Ibid -
Generic Tabloid Sports Pages Saxons crash out in second round
Breadmaster -
Church of England Newspaper Bishop Odo condemned by "Forward in Faith" - "not firm enough"
matt - (I can't think of a paper to attribute this to, but the pun is so awful it has to be done): Exclusive Interview: Conqueror Shares His Norman Wisdom
Bob the dog - matt] That'll be 'The Stage'.
Le Monde - Oui Gotcha!
Blob -
National Geographic Free map supplement : Hastings Battlefield.
Puckoon - Another form
The Sun "The Bastard Wins, The Bastard"
Blob - [Puck] A bit of borrowing from Henry V there methinks
DAUPHIN. O Dieu vivant! Shall a few sprays of us,
The emptying of our fathers' luxury,
Our scions, put in wild and savage stock,
Spirt up so suddenly into the clouds,
And overlook their grafters?
BRITAINE. Normans, but bastard Normans, Norman bastards!
Mort Dieu, ma vie! if they march along
Unfought withal, but I will sell my dukedom
To buy a slobb'ry and a dirty farm
In that nook-shotten isle of Albion.
Always gets a laugh that line - in what is not generally considered Shakespeare's funniest play ! (Though there is the Tennis balls joke near the start, and all that farting about with Kate) - Sorry I digress ...
rab - Time for a new one perhaps? Someone like to do the honours?
Thos - Delighted! Thanks for asking.
The Building of the Crystal Palace for the Great Exhibition of 1851 Thos -
The Sun: What a Pane! blamelewis -
House & Garden: Large greenhouses are
in.
Dujon -
Glaziers' Gazette Exhibitionist's shares overheated - heading for meltdown!
Breadmaster -
Evening Standard - Prince Consort unveils ambitious plans for underground railways. Is chaos inevitable?
Thos -
Financial Times:
Venture Capitalists Invest in Property in Norwood DrQu+xum - Given that this one's been sitting for almost two weeks...
Galileo Publishes Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief Systems of the World (1632) Blob -
The Sport The Earth Moved for Me says Italian Stud.
rab -
The Mail -- Galileo was an asylum seeker.
Blob -
The Guardian - Galilee heresay !
penelope -
The Beano Free with this Issue! Twirling Sun and Earth Toy. Test Top Boffin's theory for yourself!
Blob -
Le Figaro Galileo ! Magnifico !
gil - Nature - Article Discredited
We regret that a planned sensationalist article by an Italian glass merchant has been withdrawn due to an unfavourable peer review from the Astronomer Royal of the Holy Office in Rome, a total lack of verifiable experimental evidence and a rumour that the author has been made an offer he cannot refuse.
rab - Does anyone think it's time for another?
matt - How about:
Gregorian calendar reform reaches England, September 1752, some 2 centuries after most of the rest of Europe
Daily Mail: Eurocrats Steal 11 Days!
rab -
Good Housekeeping - Free this issue! Your cut-out-and-keep calendar converter.
gil -
Financial Times New Year Bank Holiday moved to January 1st.
DrQu+xum -
Good Health - "How to feel two weeks younger without even trying"
gil - How about
Hannibal uses Elephants in War against Rome
Janes Defence Review Latest Punic Strike Capability (pictures)
Wol -
Travel Agents Gazette: This year - Tuskany!
rab -
El Paso -
Hannibal Announces Jumbo Battle Plan, maybe with a strap that says
New weapon dubbed the "Mother of All Calves" DrQu+xum -
Skiing Monthly - Alpen Slopes Well-Packed
gil -
Arts Review Modelling Materials Shortage to End when Carthaginian Reaches Rome.
Thos -
The Sun:
Hannibal Takes Romans to Tusk (and on Holiday Supplement on page 21:
New Roman Trunk Road Opens)
blamelewis -
BBCi News UN inspectors find massive weapons of destruction Martha Farquar -
The Independent:
Hannibal Crosses Alps With Elephantsfollowed by:
New Scientist:
Hannibal Crosses Alps With Elephants; None of the Offspring Survive gil -
The Grauniad - Carthaginian Jumble Mystery
blamelewis - ...seems to have slipped to page 7 that one... how about...
The Creation of the Universe Uncle Korky -
Housing Today -
Unforeseen Boom in Real Estate gil - FT - How long will the current growth last?
Raak -
FT -
Chancellor predicts early end to hyperinflation Martha Farquar -
Church Times -
Massive Explosion Proves Divine Intervention. "It's a miracle no-one was killed" Uncle Korky -
Sunday Sport -
Big Bang: 100% Genuine Photos rab -
The Sun -
Where did we get our name from? Uncle Korky -
Classic FM Magazine -
Handel shifts writers' block Martha Farquar -
Daily Star -
Phew, What A Scorcher! The Times -
IRA Involvement Suspected Uncle Korky -
Sporting Life -
Coming Soon: The Big Fight - Church Vs. Science! rab -
Telegraph - From the OpEd pages
Why the new universe will never catch on rab -
Mail -
New Universe 'easy target' for asylum seekers rab -
Times Higher Education Supplement -
Pyrotechnics to be granted Universe status penelope -
Hello! New Universe: Exclusive pictures of the newest habitats and the neighbours you're likely to meet thereSmash Hits New Stars - a chart rundownCosmopolitan Reproduction is the New Sex Martha Farquar -
Mirror -
Face of Elvis Seen In Debris Escape! -
3 Nights in Universe - Unseasonably Warm This Season rab - Yes. No so hot on ideas though: I gave up history at the age of about 13...
Martha Farquar - I was going to suggest Famous First Words, Greetings Cards, Jargon, Complete Proverbs, Topical Nursery Rhymes, Misquotations, Name dropping, Translation, or Euro TV and Radio guide. They'd probably all be more popular than this one right now
rab - [Martha] THat list sounds oddly familiar.
blamelewis - Seconded - any of the list sound good.
rab - Out of those I think the Translations might be
a priori easiest to play,
n'est pas?
Martha Farquar -
a priori, that's describing an alumnus from a rehab clinic, doesn't it?
rab - [MF] That's the spirit. Shall we put this one to bed and give the translations a home of their own?
blamelewis - In that case, to end on the Last topic:
Crescent Times CAMREC argues that new Universe has "innapropriate physical conditions" for Mornington Crescent Audience -
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for blamelewis* Martha Farquar - Well done, blame. You are now 1= on the league table.
blamelewis - Aha - that's money for old rope! Still it's not like a proper win, but it was fun...
Clementi - Aww, no-one mentioned the London Evening Standard's 'Classic' headline ......... WILSON WIELDS HIS CHOPPER ( this headline was changed by the second edition to read HAROLD WILSON WIELDS HIS AXE as this was felt to be more 'appropriate'!! Great original headline though, don't you all think? :o)
This is the end of the line. There is no more.